This Merry Christmas

Just under a week until Christmas. 

Sitting here with some beautiful music, my tree all aglow with ornaments made by little hands.

 
5 years ago I would have had no little-made beauties on my tree. 

5 years ago all that mattered to me, to be really honest, was me. 





My tree would have looked 'perfect', but been perfectly meaningless. 
Now I wouldn't trade all those little beauties for all the designer ornaments in the world. I wouldn't trade the drawings held by magnets, or the smudge marks or the piles of laundry for anything. No one could have told me that I would stop caring about things being 'just so' and how it all looked from the outside. I just had to find out, over time, what really matters.  



 
In another 5 years I am hopeful I will have died to self a little more, to be able to look back and see more selfishness dissolved with time. Some days it seems like there is still so very far to go. I am so thankful for His grace.

The little ones are all tucked in sound asleep. And when they are asleep and I am waiting for the one with whom I share a name to come home I am so tempted to sneak in their rooms and steal a kiss, steal a moment of prayer over them and their little hearts, still so new to the world. There is so much hurry and busy to get through the day and get everyone to bed that when all the rush is done and all that is left is quiet I wish I had taken just a little longer to get them tucked in to sleep. Just one more story. Just one more hug. When the days seem long and hard may I always remember that the time is so fleeting, already passing so fast and breathless. 

When they are all grown and gone off will they come back to their Momma for Christmas? 

Will I be the place their hearts long for as the Christmas Season approaches? 

I hope so. I pray so. I pray that we so impress on them the meaning of this season, the reason for the celebration that they always treasure it as I am learning to treasure it now. Not as the world may see it but as it is. As the gift. Just as they are a gift to me. 
Every year I get Christmas a little more. It moves me a little more. The reality of this Jesus, this Emmanuel. The gift of God with us. It blows my mind. Such a crazy, precious, loving, miraculous gift. May you see it friend. May you feel it and know it down in your very bones this year. The gift. This Merry Christmas ♥

Oh How I NEED You

Be still my soul.
This week has left me so heavy. My heart broken over and over for innocent blood shed, and for all the now small minded so called problems I have been facing. Oh how selfish we are. Thankfully we serve a God who can handle it all. Big and small. All this mess around us. He can handle it. He knows.

In the agony, in the joy, in the heaviness of sorrows, in the peace and comfort.
All I know, all I need to know, is He is there.

When I am petty,

when I am close to almost perfect,

when I am weak,

when I am strong.

When I screw up. Royally.

When I walk in righteousness.

When I fail them. When I fail myself. Time and time again.

There He is. 

Waiting. Never pushing, just waiting for me to turn to Him and say "I need you"

Abba. I need you. Help me. Show me. Forgive me.

I never have to ask Him to love me. He always does. I just have to choose to see it. To be covered by it, by His love and grace, over and over again.
This past week has worn my soul. And in the places where it was stretched thin I broke. I didn't choose patience. I didn't go to the throne. And it showed. I didn't show them Jesus. I sit and weep over the moments of  weakness, the figurative spilling of blood. Cutting them down by my impatience. Showing them my frustration with sighs and signs of aggravation.
But with each moment comes a chance to start again.
To hug.
To say I am so sorry for yelling.
To put them before me.
To choose hope, instead of fanning the fire of despair.
To choose to give grace, instead of the ugliness of frustration.
For as freely as we can receive so too can we give.
And tonight I need to receive.
Receive, so that tomorrow morning I can awake with a smile for them.
So that they know they aren't a burden.
So I can stop worrying about our future.
So I can know that I can do all things.
So I can look at tomorrow at a gift and not a check mark.
To remember I don't have to have it all together to have it all.

 Lord hear the prayers of the hurting, the humble, the weeping, show us Your mercy, Your grace and forgiveness, though we don't deserve it, keep us in the palm of Your hand. Take those broken Mommas and Poppas with anguished hearts and lift their heads, Lord. Give them Your sweet sweet peace. Oh Lord Your PEACE.
In Jesus name. Amen
God Bless You.

Wait.

Sometimes we have to wait. (like you have had to wait for a new blog post...ahem)

I struggle with waiting. I struggle to grasp God's timing. To quote Inigo Montoya in "The Princess Bride": "I donna suppose you could speed things up?". That is me to my God. I have not been a good waiter. And lately I have been on a waiting roller coaster.
Earlier this year I prayed for God to give my husband a better shift at work, because as mother of a new baby, a toddler and a preschooler, I was struggling, really struggling.  I had dealt with shift work for years and I was ready for a change. To my surprise God answered my prayer (oh ye of little faith!!!) and pretty quick. Then a few months later the gift was threatened.
There was NO WAY for my man to stay on the good shift. What?
I didn't panic. I prayed. I called people and told them to pray. I put my prayer requests out on the web for all to see. Then, all of a sudden, God worked a miracle in our lives. The man was staying on the good shift, when there had been no way for that to happen just a day before.  I jumped up and down. I prayed, gave thanks, shouted hallelujah and told anyone who would listen. I had been shown favor.
So when 5 months later the gift was taken away I was shocked.

"...The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord." Job 1:21 KJV

Now what?

I have experienced this kind of disappointment before, far more seriously, when we lost a baby in my second pregnancy. God knew what He was doing.  I still don't understand it, but I accept it. I have peace about it. We can talk more about that journey another time.
There is no greater blessing than a child. But God allows children to be taken away. He will allow other blessings to expire also.
When I got the phone call that we were losing day shift I didn't despair. Don't get me wrong, I am not pleased about it, but I know better to than to think I can understand all that God is allowing in my life.

So what do we do in the mean time, when we are waiting on the Lord? Now what?
The answer is the same. Pray and praise. Seek His face and not His hand.

I am still praying. I am still learning to trust Him. I know He is working on it, and me. No prayer comes back void. I had been griping about it, but I am going to put a stop to that. Not going to worry about it either. I am going to SEEK Him.

I was praying about it the other night when this scripture quote came into my Facebook feed:

 "I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope." Psalm 130:5 NIV

I don't know the "why" behind life's disappointments, big or small. But God does. He knows, and plans far better things then our very limited knowledge could ever imagine. I have had two more (wonderful) children since the miscarriage, which was just 3 short years ago. Who knows what the Lord has in store.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,”declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Issiah 55:8-9 NIV

I don't want to pretend I am not frustrated. I am. I believe in see-through living, so yes it is upsetting! But I am working on this little ole' heart of mine. And if you are anxiously waiting on the Lord for something, I hope this brings you a little encouragement. Praise Him in the waiting. He is waiting on you too.
God Bless!!!
Liz

This week has been a challenge for all of us here at the Taylor household. I have been terribly sick. When momma is down for the count, it affects everybody, especially my darling Mr Taylor. But he has been a trooper trying to fill both roles and take care of everything. Last night he came in the bedroom after getting the last one to bed and said "You have got it ROUGH. This is hard work!" That little bit of appreciation for my 'job' goes a long way. It is a rough job. Its the best job. Its the hardest job. And I sometimes feel that it goes unnoticed and unappreciated. This is where I need the help of the Holy Spirit. I tend to find myself seeking approval of others, seeking the appreciation of others. This of course leads to all kinds of problems... what happens when you don't get the approval?? But God wants us to seek Him as our source of fulfillment. We are to do the work set out before us for Him. So that 2 am baby wake up call is for Him. That 2nd poopy diaper right after I just changed their hiney is for Him. That load of dishes or laundry, doing something for the kids when I would rather be doing something for myself is for Him. "And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God..." Colossians 1:10 NIV
I was put in this very position to do the work of God from where I am. I used to find myself often wishing for more. More freedom, more time to myself, more glory for myself. I was starting to resent my life. I am not sure when it happened, but I had a little wake up call. I was CALLED by God to do what I am doing. Wishing for more was denying God. Yes, it may be hard. We were made for hard. I truly believe we are never given more than we can handle. Before I was saved I had often found myself in situations that I thought were unbearable, too much and unfair. Since growing in God over the past few years I have come to a different place, a place of understanding that when I am in the midst of the hard I can simply call out to God. I don't need to wish away my life. This is my purpose.  "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." James 1:2-3  
I believe that this is one of the most effective ways we can show Christ to others. Not just to people outside our lives, but our children, our husbands, our friends and family. "Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near." Phillipeans 4:5 NASB
I just have to 'get over myself'. And do you know what happens? It makes me happy. When I stop trying to do so much for myself it makes me joyous. The devil doesn't want us to know that. He doesn't want us happy. We have to choose it, happy is an action.
We are called to live in an attitude of service. Jesus himself got down and washed the feet of his disciples. How often do I lower myself to serve others? While I will continue to let God work on this area in my life, I am learning to find contentment in the everyday. The JOY of simple life. I hope that today you may do the same. There is so much joy out there. Remember, you are right where you are supposed to be! Now I have to go change a hiney.
LOVE,
Liz Taylor

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Hello! Welcome to my very first Blog! I have no idea what I am doing, so be patient with me. 
So first I will tell you a little bit about myself.

I am a momma. To three children: a 4 year old daughter, a 2 year old daughter and 7 month old son.  I am busy. Lots of diapers. Lots of needs. Lots of hugs and kisses and tears. Some of them mine.

I am a singer in a small, local Christian band. I write music and love to get out and play whenever I can.

I am always up for a chat about decorating and there is a sofa a Crate and Barrel right now that I am literally in love with. I have painted my living room 5 times in 7 years and I am not ashamed.

I am married to a great guy. He is in the Navy Reserves. He is supportive of my decorating habit. He painted the living room in "coastal villa" last month, a shade of oh-so-perfect-grayiege, but I digress.

I am a jack of all trades, master of none. If it is a craft I have probably done it. Currently I am working on one painting, 3 sewing projects, a few fall decor projects and a couple of necklaces...
I do not have a problem. wink wink.

I am a terrible housekeeper. But I try. Really. Our house is small. 962 square feet and one actual closet. Moving on.

I am flawed. But I have learned to love me, and ask for Grace to fix the things that He wants me to and move on. I am so far from perfect but I try not to let it stop me.

The whole point of my blog is...
I have a heart, that I am working on day in and day out, trying to be the best momma I can be. Motherhood, my life, my journey isn't always what I expected, but it is wonderful. Sure there are ups and downs, and some days the downs scream way louder...making it easy for me to forget what it is really all about... Love.
Serving God. And loving His children, which happen to include my children, and my husband, and me and everyone else. 
So join me in my crazy journey as a momma, as a wife, as a woman and a child of the King.
I can't promise that it will be all sunshine and roses, but I can promise it will all be from the HEART.

Your Friend,

Liz Taylor