Though I really enjoy singing every Sunday for the worship team, I think that the best times I sing are in broken moments with heavy heart.
Strained notes to an all powerful God that has
choirs at His beck and call, but tunes ear to my pitiful, weary ballad
"Be Thou my Vision, o Lord of my heart, naught be all else to me, save
that Thou art...heart of my own heart what ever befall, still be my
Vision, o Ruler of all"
So here I find myself often this week. The strain of life pulling me in all different directions. Bad news and tough decisions. Relief and anxiety all rolled into one.
But this is it. This storm. This mountain top. This valley.
This is the life I have.
I have really only one choice to make: how do I live it?
Do I choose to let the cares of this world, everything that will soon (and very soon!) pass away, burden me? Or do I choose to trust that God loves me, wants to give me good things, and always has my best interests in mind?
Well, it seems so obvious right?
But the real point is I have a choice.
So why do I forget? Why do I let this world sweep me off down torrents of fear and anxiety and trying to figure it all out, when I could just let God do His work in me?
Everyday, the struggle to remember to lay it at the foot of the cross goes on, over and over and over.
Remembering that all is grace.
Remembering to stay in the Word.
Remembering to call out to Him.
It is such a challenge, one that may never end on this earth, but so important to continue.
To just remember that God is on my side, and He has equipped me for this moment, put me in it for my own good.
El Roi, the God who sees. A God who knows.
Who understands. At the end of the day He is not weary.
He does not tire
of my inadequacy, but stands ready for me to come to Him. All you weary
and heavy laden. Sweet peace of a Benevolent God.
I sang at Sunday service Francesca Battistelli's "Beautiful Beautiful":
"Like sunlight burning at midnight, making my life something so beautiful, beautiful. Mercy, reaching to save me, all that I need You are so beautiful, beautiful. I have come undone, but I have just begun, changing by Your Grace."
He isn't finished with me yet.
So as I continue to struggle to accept some of the aspects of my life, He continues His work on me. He isn't worried about my progress. He isn't criticizing my one step forward, two steps back.
You cannot judge a painter's finished product by the rough sketch.
So our household is going through a little
rough patch right now. It is what God is allowing in my life.
Do what you can do, and let God do what you cannot?
I will be clinging hard to the One who made me, put me
right here, right now in this moment.
Equipped me to handle it. Gave me
Grace to cover it. Breathing in and out His praise.
Remembering. Trying again.
Blessed be the name of the Lord.
All. Is. Grace.