Join me in my journey as a momma, learning as I stumble along the way, pouring out my heart and being covered by amazing Grace.
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Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Normal, Right?

I squirm in my seat writing this. This, this is truth. This is uncomfortable.
I see an epidemic in the making. I see people being treated as disposable, usable.  I see semi pornographic images on magazines. Everywhere. EVERYWHERE. I see sex on TV more casual than coffee.* I see boys treating girls like toys, hurting them and thinking it is funny.
I see girls believing that this is just normal.

I did.

Permissive parents. Persistent boys. Alcohol. Lack of supervision. Sounds all too familiar. Way too close for comfort.

This is normal right?

I remember a boy slamming me into a locker. In middle school. Trying to get my compliance.  He wasn't the last. That was over 20 years ago. Think it has gotten better out there?

I couldn't wait to get out of school. Get away. But then I started to think it was just normal. And something must be wrong with ME. And it continued long after highschool.  Until I met the Best Man. The One. My Jesus. And then I learned to love me, because He loves me. It took me 30 years. We have to do better for our kids.

We have to save these girls. We have to save these boys. We have to save them from themselves. From the sickness invading our culture from every angle. 

If you tolerate something, you may as well condone it. Turning a blind eye only brings the dark. 

We are blasted with images. With women as objects. Where on earth are these boys getting the idea that women are objects?

Hmm. I wonder.

If you show someone something everyday, all day long, how long until they are no longer sensitive to it?

If they tell us by their images that women are an object, something to leer at, over and over and over will it not be burned in our brains?

Be careful little eyes what you see...

We have invited this into our homes, our lives, our minds.

The question is, what are we going to do about it? Are we going to just sit back and let this be/become normal?

People angry at the victims for ruining the lives of the perpetrators? What is wrong with this picture?

These girls need to be taught self worth. These boys need to be taught human worth. Both need to be taught real love.

Fellow mommas, it is not to late. I have a boy. My sweet baby son. We HAVE to teach them right. We have to show them the value of women.  

We have to change the culture. 

Please. For my two little girl's sake. For my boy's sake. For your children's sake. We have to do something.

We can stop tolerating it. 

*To be totally truthful I do not have Cable or anything like that, so I don't watch "TV"
Interestingly enough when I do see catch a glimpse of it at someones house I get nauseated by how much worse it has gotten since I killed my television. Do a little experiment. Turn off the TV and watch no rated R movies for a week or two, then turn it back may just find it repulsive and kill your TV too. We threw out the junk that was clogging up our minds and haven't looked back. We love football, but we found you can stream games online. We can still watch movies, but we get to choose what we allow into our homes. Just a thought.

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Flesh Die-et.

Sigh. Another day, another long battle.

Motherhood is great. I love the snuggles. The unsolicited "I love you momma". The "chase me, chase me!!".  The mud soup and wildflower gifts.

But then there is the other stuff...

There is throw up.
Poop. Tons of it.
There is no sleep. Seriously. It has been YEARS since I have slept for 8 hours.
Tantrums, fighting, lying, SIN.
Fighting the same battles day in and day out.

And there is all of my sin, too.

I had no idea what was coming when the test turned positive. I thought I would have it all under control. I was a new Jesus follower. In my arrogance I thought I had that sin thing over come. Hey, I stopped cussing, stopped drinking, went to church and said a little prayer.* I have it all covered right?

But oh the depth of my sinful nature, the ever changing definition and conviction.
Right now, its that lack of humility, to bow down and serve each child joyfully as if I were serving Jesus Himself. To the least of these....

Oh how selfish I was. Am. Everyday a battle against flesh that screams let me stay in bed.
That doesn't want to change another diaper. That doesn't want to serve. Its that flesh.

And tonight? It wanted me time. It was putting those kids to bed and snuggling on the couch with a piece of coconut cream pie and the internet all to myself.
But God had other plans. I went up and down those stairs at least 11 times. No one stayed in bed. As I am writing this I have one snoring on the couch beside me. One that I wronged earlier with my vipers tongue bowing to the flesh.
What better way to change all that selfish, haughty pride, to refine me into what He wants me to be, than through a handful of need driven babes pulling me in every different direction? Bringing out my worst so He can bring my sinfulness to light?

What then could He use me for?

 I wish I could say I have it all figured out. Most days it is just a mess. But aren't a lot of beautiful things messy and painful? Childbirth, love, growing up and old, living and breathing... death on a cross?

I wouldn't change it. Not at all. I want the fire, to refine. It is a gift. From a God who can only give me good gifts. Know I need a dose of humility to burn up those extra pounds of selfishness I have been carrying around. A Flesh Die-et, as it were.

But my flesh certainly doesn't want it (why would it want to die??). Doesn't like it. Hates.
My flesh screams, wants for me me me.
Sometimes I feel on the inside like my 2 year old looks on the outside, I just know how to hide it. But I can't hide it from Him, and He uses them to show it to me.

That is just the reality. My heart and flesh WILL fail.

Aren't you thankful for GRACE? I know am. Need it. Always.

But He has given this to me. And I will take it, for what it is. Good and bad. Sweet and painful. Fast and slow. Knowing that this is what He has in mind for me,and in spite of me, I will try to learn to enjoy it.

Love to ya momma's. He's got our back. Look for Jesus in those little faces and keep changing those diapers. We can do this, through Christ who strengthens us. Here is to shedding a few 'pounds'.

God Bless You,

*I am not making digs or judgement at anyone each his own convictions...this is just what I thought at the time.